De-Parentification

One great challenge for single parents has to do with how they interact with their children. When there is no other parent with whom to share the parenting, conversations and responsibilites usally shared by parents are often shared by the parent and the child.

Some of these dynamics are nearly unavoidable. However, too much of them and you get a child acting more like a parent than a child. This process is called parentification - and it's not good.

Single parents need to be aware of how much they are asking their children to be parental in their behaviors.

This can be challenging.

• In one sense, children can help with emotional support from time to time, however, too much of that is no good.

• Children should help with chores around the house; that's a good thing. They should be given reasonable and age appropriate tasks.

• Single parents must constantly be aware of boundaries, re-define those boundaries, and expand them as needed.

Certainly the dynamics for single parents are going to be different than in a two-parent hosehold, so don't expect them to be the same. However, being careful not to parentify your cildren is one of the important tasks of single parenting.

Lots of single women

51% of all women are now not married. Read it here.

Single moms travel

Strollers, luggage, tickets, boarding passes, gates, terminals, maybe even a diaper bag and baby seat. Good grief, how do you travel with children?

It's tough to do single parenting in the airport and on the plane. I once saw a woman with 7, yes 7 children, on an airplane. She was African and seemed not to worry about her children. She wasn't worried because they were Behaving relatively well. That is until near the end fot he flight. They just couldn't take it anymore. The oldest couldn't have been 10 years old, by the way.

She held the youngest in the aisle, soothing her tears, barked out a couple of commands (is that what Swahili sounds like?) and managed the troops with words and love. I was so amazed I gave her $40. I don't know why I did that. When I gave it to her, she looked at me like I was crazy. I didn't know how else to show my amazement.

Anyway, you probably want to know some tips for air travel with kids. Well, click here to read more about doing single motherhood and traveling.

Let's Link

Hey, you read this blog. You might have a blog. Let's link to each other.

Upon your request, I will link to you from the Smart Single Parent Blog under Blogroll in my sidebar. Just leave a comment here requesting a link and show me where to link and I will. Your blog doesn't even need to be a single parent blog - it just needs to be yours.

I'd love it if you'd link to me as well.

Let's grow our cyber community so we can better support one another.

Smart Single Moms and Time

You're a single mother, of course you don't have enough time. You're running double duty constantly and the there is never enough day left. Shove that pile of responsibilities off to the next day and hope nothing more piles up while you catch a bit of sleep each night.

Isn't there a better way?

Well, probably not. But there are some time saving tips that can help you.

1. Know when to multitask: Sometimes multitasking is a life saver, but sometimes it only puts off something that requires your full attention - and then takes up more time later. I recall a teenage girl's grip to her multitasking mother, "Mom, multitasking is fine unless I am one of your many tasks. I want you to listen to me." The point was well taken. At the same time, din't just give in to every request from your kids. Giving them undivded attention now will likely reduce their insistence on too much of it.

2. Taming the paper tiger. Deal with paperwork now and you won't have to deal with it twice or worry about it when you need it. Investing time in paper management is jst that, an investment that cost time up front, but please, pleas,e believe me that when the time comes to need it, you won't have the luxury of time to go looking for it all over the place.

3. Time tasks. Gat a kitchen timer use it. Allot time to tasks and do them in that time allotted.

4. Sleep healthy. You are more productive when you are well rested. Get 8 hours as often as you can. Fewer efficient awake hours are better then more inefficient awake hours. Plus, you run the risk of heath issues when you do not get enough sleep. Then you're really "wasting" time.

5. Live within your circle of influence. When you spend time trying to do soemthing that is outside of your control, you are wasting time - period. Learn to decide what you can and cannot do and spend time doing what you can.

Your time is valuable; use it well.

Single Does Not Mean Solo

Smart single moms get past the idea that asking for help is admitting failure. Being single does not mean being alone or isolated as a parent.
Finding and utilizing help is one of the best things a single mother can do.

Click here to read more about smart single mom.

Below is a recommended resource.