OK my friends, it is time for you to shine. We are going to spend February exploring the top 5 tips for single parents.
What I am most interested in this month is what you are doing that is working well. So, go ahead and make a comment here and brag a little. Share your success, no matter how big or small.
In later posts I will throw out a few suggestions, but I think we should start with you all and yor successes.
So please, brag a little.
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7 comments:
What seems to work for me is I have tried to focus on what is in the best interest of my dauther, and putting her needs ahead of my own. I have been a single parent for 14 years, have dated some, but for some reason, have not been to crazy about getting to involved in a relationship. I am very involved with her with school and church activities, and lead a high school growth group with her and her school friends at our church, and that has worked well to help give her a good foundation, I think I would say stay involved, and don't get distracted with your own needs, your needs are important, but giving your child a good foundation is so important, and even at the high school age, they may say they don't need you, but I can tell you they LOVE it when you get involved in there lives. I also try and set a good example in my adult relationships because I know that is how my child learns from me.
Well I must say that it is not all single moms out there. I am single dad with two beautiful daughters. I have had to learn alot about doing hair and the like, but all has gone well. I think the biggest thing for a single parent is a consistent routine and boundaries. It has been dificult at times but very rewarding for my girls they are as stable and adjusted, if not more, as any child in a two parent family. I think that you have to make time for yourself at least once a week even if it costs a babysitter. It is well worht the money.
I have learned a lot over the years I have been a mom. Not all of my time was spent single but more than not I was not married. I always thought "he could be the one" so I would introduce him to my kids, afterall it's gotta be a good fit for all of us right? Well, I have learned a lot from those moments and have come to realize that if he is the "one" he will understand in waiting to meet my kids and it will work out regardless of quickly or not so quickly I introduce them all! So, take time for yourself, you need a life outside of momhood, but guard your kids afterall we are teaching them how to be adults!
Family Traditions and Routine. In the craziness of being a single parent, wearing all the hats that we do, it is easy to just fly off the cuff so to speak. I have found, however, that incorporating things that my kids can count on has helped alleviate some of the things that they miss. We have Friday night pizza and game or movie night. Sometimes we make pizza from scratch, sometimes we order and sometimes it's frozen but we always have pizza. We then will get a movie from the library or play dominos or another board game. My kids really look forward to that time together. It could be any night of the week. It's funny to me that it only takes doing the same thing once or twice to make it a tradition in their eyes. Try something if they like it, try it again and maybe you'll find a new family tradition that can build memories for you and your kids!
These are great comments. Each one worthy of a post in and of itself. We'll see if we can get a ferw more comments and then we will unpack these this month.
Thanks and keep them comingl.
i've only been a single mom for about two years. by far, the best advice given to me that i have been successful at implementing is to lower my expectations: of myself and my children. i used to feel very anxious inside if my external world was a mess. i've learned that dinner on paper plates is ok, that laundry can wait in order to spend that extra time reading to my boys or squeeze some time for myself, and that the house can be in disaray and I can feel at peace inside. there's just not time for all that needs to get done when you're a single parent. i'm trying to learn to focus on what's really important, and to be okay with my own limitations.
Routines, family traditions, family vacations, dates with my kids and eating together every night (almost). I was a single dad for six years, and now that my kids are all teenagers they talk about reading together every night on dad's bed, discovering what dad had cooked for that day (sometimes we had to order out for pizza when we discovered what dad had made in the crockpot that day!). I would take one of my kids out for lunch about once every 6 weeks, just let them talk. But the biggest tip I would give would be to invite God to fill in those gaps in your family. Obviously a single parent family is not God's original design, but I know God's grace is sufficient to fill in those areas that our kids were missing - to such an extent that those areas can become our kids strength.
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