What makes a single mom successful?Financially making ends meet? Being a good role model for her children? Spending time with her children? Keeping up with the laundry? Making sure her children are getting the best education? Nutritious means? Meaningful connections with technology?
How do you measure success for a single mother?
15 comments:
I honestly think it's the same thing for all parents, whether single, married, mother or father. It's all of those things you mentioned plus plenty more. It's the relationship between parent and child, trust and love, with a lot of discipline thrown in. We have to keep a balance between work and home, all the while finding time for ourselves. This is often more difficult for single parents because we don't always have anyone around to help us.
We also need to do our best to maintain a positive outlook. If our kids are happy and full of love for us, then we are successful. If they grow up to be happy, intelligent and productive adults, then we were successful.
Liz, welcome to the blog and nice comment. There are certain virtues and behaviors all people need to live by for their own sake and the sake of their children.
At the same time, being a single parent poses some specific challenges. For example, one of the best things a parent can do for a child is love the other parent. That's generally challenging for a single parent to do, not matter how that persoon became a single parent.
Hi Fajita, I do agree with your statement, however unfortunately I think sometimes it's harder to acheive the love the other parent part than it is to be a single parent. Look at the divorce rate. Of course it all depends on the circumstances of the household. I was never married and Spirit's "father" has never met her. That was his choice and he's stuck to it. I honestly think it's easier for me to give her stability than people dealing with a nasty divorce or other such issues.
We also have to remember that every single parent does things differently. I do not bring men around my child when I am actually dating. If something were to get serious, then I would consider it, but until that happens, she meets no one. This way she doesn't get attached to anyone, ever, that might not be sticking around. It's my job to give her stability.
I guess that might be another thing that makes a successful single parent. Providing a stable environment. Making sure the children always know who they can count on and doing our best to make sure that people don't come and go from their lives.
Another thing is the reality is that the majority of households are single parent houses at some point or another. I recently heard a report that a full 4 out of 10 births in this country in 2005 were to unwed mothers. And not teenagers either. Add the divorce rate to that and the statistics are astounding. It's sad, but it's just not the norm anymore for parents to love each other forever. Here is a link to a report on it:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/11/21/unmarried.births.ap/index.html
Great topic. Thanks for giving me lots to think about.
I think the link didn't work, but I just googled "statistics for babies born to single parents" to find a link to the report I heard.
Liz, you are spot on with the demographics. Most (but certainly not all) situations in which one parent is absent are really sad situations.
At the same time, it does not mean that these situations are hopeless.
That stable you talk about environmnet is so important.
Fajita, I don't believe any situation is hopeless. Right now I'm living 1200 miles away from my family. Yes, it is by choice because I wanted to give us a better financial life. I lost my job and have no idea what to do for now. I have some long term goals, but short term I need a solution and I need one quickly. I've been kind of down, but I'm in no way feeling hopeless. The opposite if anything. I'm spending time in Spirit's class and that is what makes me feel better. Kindergarten is fun! And it helps that my Spirit is loving every second of me being there.
Funny how things work. My unemployment is making me feel so unstable, yet it's adding tons more stability to my daughter's life by having me around more.
Oh by the way, Liz, Spirit is a beautiful name.
Thanks Fajita. It's not her real name, it's just her code name for my blog. I used to call her mini-me (which she is), but it was time for a change and she is so spirited, so I came up with Spirit.
Oh, that makes sense You might ahve noticed that it is possible Fajita is not my real name.
Successful single mom --- keep your sanity and keep an open mind(especially where the kids's dad is concerned) and keep God in your heart and in your conversations and your children in your prayers
I have a couple of questions to ask Liz and Fajita. My first question is In what ways does being a single parent challege you and/ or give you success? My Second question is Are the type of parent who discipline's their children instead of communicating with them to explain the difference between wrong an right? Also do you feel parents who do disciplien their children are doing the right thing? My Last question is after going to parenting classes have you discovered teh different ways that you can continue successfully parenting your children?
All parents must maintain trust with young children since they are giving them lots of love and understanding to be safe when they grow up people
To be a successful single parent, he/she mustn't just focus on one goal, they should think about everything that will make their family successful. Speaking by experience on being divorced to a man who assaults his wife and kids, I am happy that I ended the marriage with the help of the lawyer on family law (Jacksonville, Florida based firm) for the welfare of the kids.
Living in peace, thanks to the Jacksonville family lawyer, we are devoid of threats of violence for many years now.
I know several strong single mothers who didn't really choose to be that, but circumstances forced them into it. They handle challenges with humor, strength, and confidence and became successful.
Dating Single Mother
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